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per amica silentia lunae

or, across the ferny brae with the evil voodoo celt

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"Time is the only thing we have that is truly of any value"

This letter from catpaw67 was read at the memorial service for her husband, George Marvil, this past Saturday:

Greetings to you all, friends and acquaintances of my late husband,
George Marvil. I wish I could be there today with you to mourn and
share your good company. Please know that I am thinking of you as I
work at my business this afternoon and try to do all the things I
believe George would want me to do to keep our home and family
running on an even keel. I want to take a moment of your time to
tell you some things about George.

George was a difficult man to know. When I first met his father
years ago, he asked how long I had known George. I said I'd been
dating him for six months. He said, "Six months is hardly a hello
with George." He had depth to him that he almost never let anyone see.

In the last 18 months, he had let down some of his guard. I'm so
thankful we had this time together. I'm an Aries, and we tend to
make war, not love, but in that time, things changed for us
dramatically. Our previously stormy marriage transformed into a
source of strength for both of us. We learned something about
loyalty, and something about the true meaning of love and of
marriage. He learned to let old angers go, and I learned the value
of being present in the here and now. Hard lessons learned, but good
ones nonetheless.

As most of you know, he was fiercely devoted to Free Spirit
Alliance, spending many years donating hundreds of hours to its
service, and serving as its president. Not a perfect man by any
stretch of the imagination, he always strived to give his best
efforts to FSA.

He had a dream that the organization' s events would reach more and
more people each year, eventually drawing Pagans from all over the
world. He shared my dream that we could help the greater Pagan
community's kids get a good education through scholarships and an
environment that valued college degrees and learning. Thus was born
the scholarship fund which will now bear his name. His favorite way
to pass the time was developing ideas and serving this community. He
cared deeply about building it into something we could all be proud
of. I hope you all know how important you were to him as members of
that community.

Before I let you get on with this service, I want to tell you
something that I have learned. Maybe some of you already know this,
but I'm going to say it anyway.

Time is the only thing we have that is truly of any value.

You never know when your time is going to be up. I thought we'd have
at least a few more years with George around to share his hare-
brained ideas, boss us around, get things done, make us crazy, do
the things he did. I was wrong, and I feel much the poorer for it.
He would tell you, and I will, too, that you must make the most of
your time. Live life to its fullest. Don't hold grudges. Don't dwell
in the past and, by the same token, don't live for some future
dream without regard for the gifts of the present. Tell those you
love that you love them. Tell them every day. Live and be as happy
as you can be. That's what he would want from all of us.

Thank you for being a part of this service. There will be memorials
held at Beltane and Free Spirit Gatherings in 2007, and some of
George's ashes will be scattered at Ramblewood in the spring. I hope
to see some or all of you there for those memorials as well.

I encourage everyone to take the advice in the second-to-last paragraph to heart. I know I will.

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"Be Here Now" - Baba Ram Das

Thank you for sharing, and you are right that is a very important lesson. I have a real problem with the grudges thing. Oddly it is the longest held that I have the hardest time with. Always a lesson to learn in life.

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