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per amica silentia lunae

or, across the ferny brae with the evil voodoo celt

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holiday wisdom
So, the Center for the New American Dream has (for some reason) been sending out "holiday survival tips". Some are OK... some make me say, "Quoi?". But some are worth remembering... and sharing:

A word on expectations

My husband Andre has a mantra that he will often repeat when making difficult decisions or planning special events. When I ask him a thousand different questions about what he hopes will happen, or if he'd rather try something different, or if we might have gotten the details all wrong, a calm look will come over his face, and he will tell me, "I am not attached to any particular outcome."

This mantra is something he learned after many years of feeling disappointed when life around him didn't meet his expectations. By saying this phrase over and over, he gradually learned to let go of his desire to control everything--which in turn prevents him from feeling let down. I asked him about this recently and he added, "It also reminds me that there are an infinite number of possible outcomes, many of which I may like, so I often have a sense of something to look forward to, even if I don't know what it is yet."

TIP: This year, I plan to repeat Andre's mantra to myself when I'm tempted to fly off the handle. So much holiday stress comes from preconceived notions of what our celebrations should be like. Instead of worrying if my pie will turn out right or my gifts will go over well or the guests will show up on time or I'll look good in that outfit... I'm going to try to simply appreciate the moments as they come, for what they are (even if it's easier said than done!).

I don't buy entirely into this, but it's a good thing to remember, especially when dealing with situations that are all (or even partially) out of our control.

The shorthand that monsteralice and I use is this Morgan's Tarot card.

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Certainly a great mantra to remember when running a game at least... :o)

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