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per amica silentia lunae

or, across the ferny brae with the evil voodoo celt

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No words can measure up to how we feel, but still I am compelled to try, to offer these few frail reminders, in hope they'll help:

It's all right to be numb. It takes time, sometimes, for tragedy to sink in, especially when it's personal. Everyone grieves at their own pace. Be patient with yourself.

It's all right to take this harder than you think you should. No matter how little you knew someone, you were still connected. Be gentle with yourself.

It's perfectly normal to feel guilty. But remember that there was nothing you could have done that wasn't done. At the root of it all, you can only save yourself; you can help others, but only if you know they need it. Forgive yourself.

It's perfectly normal to be angry. Just remember that you can't know what it was like for him, not really. Forgive him.

It's all right to feel confused, lost, alone. This is something that is hard to understand, that the mind shies away from. Reach out to others for support.

It's all right to feel helpless. There just seems to be nothing we can do; even condolences must wait. But remember that everyone around you feels this too. Reach out to others to give support.

All we can do is to be generous to each other and to ourselves; give kindness, compassion, understanding and support to each other, give ourselves permission and time to mourn. Do what you can to spread your light, even to people you don't know.

These words are not sufficient, and yet I forgive myself for that. I love you all, my friends, and don't forget it.

Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince:
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

Ave atque vale, Brett.

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What prompted this post? Are you ok?

A friend of ours commited suicide. We are all in a bit of shock.

madamruppy answered your first question. In answer to your second... well, I'll be OK, eventually. I wasn't as close to Brett as many folks I know, but I liked him.

Thanks for asking.

Thank you for reminding us that it's okay to be human.

Love you!

Any time. Love you, too.

That's quite beautiful. You have a way with words.

May I ask, who is Brett and what has happened to him? This is not the first mention of him I've seen.

Many of us in this extended community participate in Live Action role Playing games and Brett was one of them. He committed suicide. And yes evcelt has a gift with words.

Thanks. I'm happy that folks seem to be taking some measure of comfort from my post. It seemed so inadequate when I wrote it.

You are never inadequate my dear. Sometimes unpracticed - but always better than you think.

So, in your other life you're a counselor? If not, then you should consider it.

Not exactly. I'm a minister.

Different job title. ;-)

Well, there's some overlap, I suppose (especially on these sorts of occasions), but it's really not the same.

Your attention has been helpful and you handle yourself well.

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