per amica silentia lunae

or, across the ferny brae with the evil voodoo celt

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I'm away off down in Florida for more software training until Friday. I have email, but my access to other stuff is limited... especially NSFW stuff.

And almost immediately upon returning, I'm off to Oak Hollow with my monster.

Regular obsessive Internet behavior will resume Monday. ;-)

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You have a monster?

Is it fuzzy and blue?

monster alice lives in a fish

No, she's small and sleek and full of teeth

monsteralice, to be precise...

Well, she is short and evil... and she had a serial poem written about her...

that was poetry? I mean it rhymed... I'm not sure I would call it poetry.

Hey, if what ee cummings and other do is poetry, then the monster serial poem counts... dammit.

Judge for yourself... (yes, I kept it)

Spring has sprung
The grass has riz
I wonder where
the flowers is

Monster Alice lives in a Fish
The bad evil cook wants the fish
so he can make a fish knish
for Passover

the bad evil cook had best
not ever, ever dare to mess
with the being named monster alice.
she's fierce and fell and full of malice
she'll make a lantern of his head,
grind his bones to make her bread;
burn up all his sons and daughters,
and sink his wife into deep waters.

besides, her fish ain't good for food-
it's old and dry and hard as wood!
the cook should look to fresher fishes
if he wants those silly knishes!

how dare you say that monster alice
is fierce and fell and full of malice
monster alice is good and sweet and kind
and tell us cool stories we like just fine
she won't grind up his bones for bread
then the bread would be icky and taste like lead
and she'd only burn his daughters and sons
if they were annoying or stole her hot cross buns

But persevere she will over evil cooks
with her profound knowledge of magic books!
Why she'll cast a spell that will cause him to
make Passover dinner out of his stinky shoes
His Passover guests will scream and flee
while Monster Alice dances with glee
Her fish will be safe, its clear to see
that evil cook should have let Monster Alice be

But people that say she is full of malice
just don't know our Monster Alice

There are those that say
the brave Elijah
would never stay
or stand beside ya

to face the dreaded Monster Alice
who with sparkling smile
gazes from her fishy palace
down along the rank and file

for she is fearsome
I warn you, stranger
Lend an ear, some
to this talk of danger

I beg you good cook for to listen
Monster Alice, that wondrous dread
won't need your children, or your missus
just to make her yeasty bread

For she is wicked, wonderous and odd
She make all things seem silly
but take her fish, you stupid clod
and she will take your...

never mind.

you're confusing monster alice
with a being of much less malice.
unless paint thinner you've been drinking,
it's of auntie sha-sha you are thinking!

i must admit there's some resemblance
between the two, in form or semblance.
but since mistakes could get you fried,
i now will post a simple guide:

auntie sha-sha tells nice stories,
monster alice prefers it gory.
auntie sha-sha likes magic books,
monster alice? knives and hooks.
sha-sha's house is full of spells,
alice in a catfish dwells.

i'm the expert, deboranter dear-
i've known them both for many years.

Auntie Sha-Sha tells it true
ask her to explain to you
the various meanings, stories, and tales
dealing with magic, love and whales

Stories of heroes, stories of trout
Stories that charm, confuse and doubt
Stories of castles, tales of the mall
Auntie Sha-Sha explains it all

But when the darkness takes it's toll
and shadows fall across your soul
it's not Auntie's fault, oh no, my dear
But Monster Alice has just drawn near.

Don't think your safe hiding in the cupboard
for Alice has a Monster apprentice, Edward
together they'll take you, hook and tooth
For only a Monster tells the Truth.

perhaps yer right, i am confused
must be the smell of the springtime muse
that has addled my brains this way
for this started with an ode to a springtime day

But all is well in this land of fish
Unless that silly cook is intent upon his knish
then he should indeed beware
less Monster alice catch in her snare

instead of fish, a silly cook
and borrow one of sha sha's books
to turn this chef into a knish
who will be someone else's fish knish

this is really a work of art. still not sure its poetry but it is definitely a work of art

I think it's an art byproduct.


Damn, it sounds like an ad for Intercon.

I think the word for the style is "doggerel".

We will pray to Jeff the God of Biscuits for your return.

: )

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